“We found out later that she was charging her relatives to stay at our house.”
Let’s face it: We’ve all dealt with obnoxious houseguests. Be it a family friend with destructive toddlers, or a great uncle with sticky fingers, everyone has fallen victim to a graceless guest.
“Drank half of the $200 bottle of tequila I got my wife for her birthday. She filled it up with water so we wouldn’t notice though…”
“My boyfriend invited a couple guys over while I was at work. He was asleep and they were gone by the time I got home, since I work the third shift. I noticed my new bathroom mat was discolored and assumed it was from dirty shoes. I made him look at it with me when he got up because it was brand-new and I was a bit mad. Upon further inspection, we came to the conclusion that before leaving, his friend had wiped shit all over my new mat. There were brown finger streaks across the whole thing! The toilet paper was readily available, BTW. They are not allowed in the apartment anymore. It was weird because they weren’t on bad terms and they actually wanted to hang out again.”
“Used my laptop to watch porn, and it ended up with tons of viruses. Took a big dump and put almost a whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet.”
“I had a friend who used to jump onto furniture. He claimed it wouldn’t break, but sometimes he did break stuff and he’d just complain it wasn’t his fault the furniture was too fragile.”
“I was away for the weekend and my roommate had some friends over for drinks. When he drinks, he often blacks out, which he did before ensuring all his friends had left. In the morning, he discovered two friends stayed the night in my room. Not cool, but at least they didn’t drink and drive, I guess? When I finally made it home, I discovered blood that was very clearly from period sex on my duvet cover. Not an ‘oops, I started my period in the middle of the night’ puddle, but stains smeared on the edge and top of the bed. We’re not partying college kids; we’re all in our mid-30s with jobs. They’re not welcome back.”
“A niece came over, immediately stood in front of the TV, and changed the channel. She was around 15. There were several people watching it.”
“Let her dog, who was on a leash, pee on me, while continuing to talk until finishing her thought and taking him outside. She also didn’t help clean it up.”
“We welcomed my uncle, his wife, and their kid into our home when they visited from abroad. The wife brought about a dozen of her own relatives with them, including a handful of young kids, and didn’t tell us beforehand. We scrambled to set up beds, assemble meals, and prepare the bathrooms to accommodate them. We found out later that she was charging her relatives to stay at our house.”
“My girlfriend (at the time) had a friend over. Her friend lit up a cigarette in the middle of our lounge room and started smoking and flicking the ash onto our carpet. I didn’t even know what to do. I don’t speak to either of them now.”
“I meal-prep for the week, and my guest went in my fridge and ate my week’s worth of food in one day. I was livid.”
“Left their child, without warning, and completely expected us to babysit (which we then had no choice but to do).”
And: “He painted my stairs. Well, he splashed dark gray paint all over my stairs. I had just had them professionally painted. It cost $1,800. He flung paint all up the walls and onto the ceiling. He didn’t like that I had painted my stairwell ivory.”
Have you ever had a truly horrible house guest? Drop your story in the comments below!
Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.