Now that you’ve already found yourself, go find a pair of jeans so beloved you buy them not once, but three times.
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A pair of ridiculously comfortable pull-on Levi’s jeans for anyone else who just wants their legs to feel that sweet, sweet unconstricted FREEDOM. These will make you want to throw your regular jeans out the window.
A bottle of tea tree essential oil to cover a whole bunch of your bases — reviewers use it to help cleanse buildup on their scalps, prevent dryness, help soothe red patches and irritation, strengthen their nail beds, and just generally ~breathe in~ because it smells so darn relaxing.
A bottle of Drop It, a natural wine sulfate and tannin remover that works its magic on your glass in just 20 seconds, so you can rest easy with your nightly glass of Pinot knowing you’ve spared yourself the infamous Post-Wine Headache or allergic reactions.
A tongue scraper that a lot of reviewers bought to prevent bad breath, but ended up loving even *more* because it made their mouth feel so squeaky clean (and in a lot of cases, made their taste buds experience flavor a lot more intensely!).
A pair of internet-beloved Adidas ~Cloudfoam~ workout sneakers with a memory foam sock liner and stretchy mesh top to let your footsies breathe. Honestly, uncomfy shoes? A scam.
A shampoo scalp massager you can use in the shower to massage and exfoliate your scalp, so you can get all of the relaxing decadence of feeling like someone is massaging your head without physically going to a salon. Psst — a lot of reviewers mention this has also helped with psoriasis, dandruff, and scalp tenderness!
A set of itty bitty dermaplaning razors you can use to take care of those lil’ unibrow hairs that keep dodging your tweezers or work whatever face fuzzies you might want to take care of in a gentle way — an especially handy tool when many of us can’t head to a salon like we normally would.
Or a painless battery-charged hair remover you can simply glide over super fine hair like the hair above your lip or between your brows instead of going into a full “YIKES” mode with wax.
Maybelline’s Instant Age Rewind concealer, an inexpensive lightweight concealer for anyone who wants to quickly touch up before Zoom calls or walks around the neighborhood, but doesn’t want to commit to a whole layer of foundation. This also helps cover dark circles without caking and reduce puffiness.
Glossier’s Cloud Paint blush, which I personally love because it feels like fingerpainting your face. It’s thick enough for a noticeable glow, but subtle enough that you don’t have to be super precise about it — basically every time I complained about makeup being too hard, a friend rec’d it to me, and I’ve neeeever looked back.
A weekly pill organizer designed with push-through silicone lids to easily organize your pills at the beginning of the week without worrying about knocking it over while the lids are all open. Each pod also had a magnetized base, so you can easily remove it and replace it if you’re on the move.
A set of silicone anti-snoring nose vents to dilate your nostrils and help promote healthy air flow, so you won’t wake yourself (or other people!) up with your snoring.
A set of bed bands to lock your fitted sheets neatly into place once and for all, so you can finally get the peaceful, untangled sleep you deserve every night.
O’Keeffe’s Working Hands Hand Cream, an affordable concentrated moisturizer for dry, cracked, or bleeding hands that actually *does* all the stuff the high-end brand names claim they’re going to do.
A foot file to remove calluses and hard or cracked skin from your feet with some gentle, pain-free rubbing. It works whether your feet are dry or wet at the time, and will leave your heels feeling gloriously soft.
A set of produce-saver storage containers that are designed to keep your fruits and veggies fresh for so much longer than they would on their lonesome that you may actually suspect it’s magic.
A suuuper popular Bio-Oil made with vitamins A and E, chamomile, and lavender — you may recognize it as a product a lot of people use to help fade scars (both old and new), soothe cracked and dry skin, and help moisturize without affecting your pores, but people are also using it in quarantine to help with dry and painful skin on their hands from hand-washing and sanitizing.
A five-pack of wedgie-proof cotton underwear with a wide, stretchy waistband, because all the creature comforts in the world won’t mean a darn thing if your undies are secretly sabotaging you by riding up all day.
A spiky massage ball meant to be a quick-fix solution for plantar fasciitis (aka, deeply annoying inner foot pain) but that also works on other muscle groups.
A memory foam seat cushion for your tushy that a lot of reviewers swear by to reduce pressure on their tailbone and help with lower back pain cause from prolonged sitting. Your wonky chairs have officially met their match.
A roll-on migraine stick made with peppermint, spearmint, and lavender oils to help you soothe away migraines and headaches, which frankly have a lot of audacity interrupting your day.
A pair of compression gloves designed to help alleviate pain from carpal tunnel and arthritis, so you can type at your keyboard without an internal monologue of “ow OW ow owwwww” for the majority of your workday.
Maybelline’s Total Temptation Eyebrow Definer Pencil, an easy-to-use, subtle eyebrow filler just as effective as the ones triple its price.
A pair of comfy period-proof underwear designed to hold two tampons’ worth of period blood that are a *great* alternative to walking around with uncomfy, bulky pads (or worrying about tampon leakage).
A conditioning and healing castor oil full of vitamins and fatty-acids that won’t just strengthen weak hair, but will help you maintain hair health over time. Reviewers mention seeing improvements in growth and strength within a week, with noticeable results within a few months.
A compression foot sleeve to help manage heel pain and plantar fasciitis that you can sneakily wear right under your socks. The compression is so effective that even reviewers with chronic pain swear by them!
A glare-free Kindle Paperwhite that not only can hold thousands of books, but will let you read them the *chef’s kiss* way you like best — you can customize with all your favorite fonts and layouts, and organize your virtual shelves to your precise standards. Bonus — its charge lasts weeks (plural!!), and it’s waterproof, so you can take this bb in the bathtub 🍷.
A “Thirty, Flirty, And Thriving” T-shirt that preeeetty much everyone in their thirties is legally required to own some version of, in the name of Razzles and every lyric to “Love Is A Battlefield.”
A Bevel shave system set, a grooming kit specifically designed for razor bump-free shaving for coarse, curly hair. It comes complete with a re-engineered safety razor that, importantly, *doesn’t* cut hair under the skin, preventing ingrown hairs, bumps, and other shaving irritations.
A plush memory foam mattress topper to quickly transform any old spring mattress into an oasis — this helps distribute your weight on your mattress more evenly to reduce pressure on your joints, so you’re less likely to toss and turn. (Also less likely to make your *bank account* toss and turn by buying a full-on new mattress 😬.)
A jar of Aztec healing clay masks for acne that essentially suck the gunk out of your pores (and pre-existing acne) like a vacuum, so you’ll be that much less likely to want to pick them yourself.
Or a pack of the internet-beloved Mighty Match Pimple Spot Treatment, a hydrocolloid sticker that you can apply straight onto a zit to flatten it, reduce redness, and even suck the gunk out of individual trouble spots overnight. Personally *love* to see a problem magically disappear while I am dreaming about somehow being teleported to a party in Bridgerton.
A Squatty Potty, one of those internet-famous stools you can put at the base of your toilet to prop your feet up on while you ~go~. The placement helps align your colon to make the process a whole lot easier and faster — like, 20 seconds compared to several minutes! — so you don’t end up watching all of TikTok while you’re waiting yourself out.
A bottle of nail and cuticle repair oil that you simply brush on your nail beds once a day to condition and strengthen all those brittle spots and painful hangnails, leaving you with thick, strong nails and nail beds you’re not tempted to pick at all the live long day.
A Foreo Luna 2 silicone facial cleanser for a truly spa-level face washing experience. It made with soft silicone bristles that dig deep into skin to remove makeup residue, dead skin cells, and blackheads — *plus* help reduce the visibility of pores.
A set of Sea Bands, which target an acupuncture point on your wrists meant to help reduce nausea. Basically, if you’re someone who has motion sickness, morning sickness, migraine nausea, or even nausea brought on by cramps, this may the be thing to take you from 🥴to 😊.
A vitamin C-based face serum for brighter, firmer skin and suuuuper quick results. A lot of reviewers could see a difference within just a few days of use.
A set of blue-light–blocking glasses ideal for anyone whose WFH setup involves a lot of time in front of their computer (it…me?) — these protect your eyes from the type of of light in screens that can mess with your sleep cycles and strain your eyes.
A memory foam gel pad for your wrists, which might relieve some of the cramping and wrist pain that comes with holding your hands over your keyboard the whole livelong day.
A ridiculously cute microwaveable stuffed animal that doubles as a heating pad. These bubs are also lavender-scented, which may help with anxiety or insomnia if you need a soothing way to calm down.
An ultra-cooling bamboo fabric sleep set for anyone who is sick of waking up in the middle of the night feeling like a human furnace.
Manifesting the “thriving” vibes with your fancy new Cloudfoam shoes like: